July 21, 2010


I want to remember.

After nursing, a drop of milk still resting in the corner of your mouth, you lie beside me on the bed. My body instinctively curls around your tiny frame. Your feet, crossed at the ankles as is your habit, rest on my thigh. Your wide eyes watch the sunlight streaming through the window above us, and your hand idly rubs against my skin. Every once in a while you stretch luxuriously, but always your little body comes back to rest against mine. Together we wake up slowly.

July 20, 2010

Nature Girl

When she's fussy, too tired to sleep or just bored, all I have to do to soothe her is step outside. She loves to be outside and quiets instantly. Sometimes she'll fall asleep, but most of the time she looks around her with wide eyes.

I try to imagine what its like to feel the warm summer breeze on your face for the first time, to look at our neighborhood with those new eyes. How does she understand those tree branches dancing over her head or the sound of the children on the playground down the street? Neighbors get a second look, but she ignores the dogs that pass us on our walk. Is it instinct that the noisy car passing by doesn't warrant her attention, but the call of the Osprey swooping over us causes her to curl protectively in to my chest? She's learning so much about her world already. I wish she could tell me what she thinks.

July 16, 2010

A Moment

We've had 24 hour a day help from family since we came home, with one family member literally handing off to another. I can't quite imagine how we would have gotten through those first days, when I could barely use my abdominal muscles and we were all very, very tired from our journey to become a family, without them.

But tonight I'm feeling much like my old self and things are slowly coming back to normal. So, we found ourselves alone at home for awhile - just the three of us for the first time. I was at the stove cooking dinner, he was on the phone, and the baby was watching it all from her bouncy chair. And then, the inevitable, the wail of a dirty diaper. We met eyes, silently deciding which parent was in the best position to handle it. (Him.)

And butterflies fluttered in my stomach. This is ours. Our child. Our life...

Happy 4th

Our little Firecracker, born July 4, 2010 at a healthy 7 lbs. 6 ozs.

Her arrival was a rougher journey than we'd planned, but some things are worth whatever it takes to get them. Being her Mom? Worth every bit of it.