Wednesday morning, when my mom called me at work to tell me my grandma would be having emergency surgery, it suddenly felt much, much farther away. I resented every minute of the drive as we tried to get there in time to see her before they took her back.
But in the three days since, the distance seems to have shrunk. Suddenly I am a commuter as I take my 'shifts' at the hospital to help with her care. The route that always felt a hassle is suddenly routine, and I am comfortable in the morning traffic, the afternoon rain or the dark of a Friday night. It now feels like no distance at all to travel to be where I need to be.
Today we got her out of bed for the first, to take a few steps to a chair and sit upright for awhile. Afterwards, I told my mom that I was thrilled I was there for it, that it felt like I'd been present for a child's first steps. At age 86, she is one tough cookie. (Don't tell her I said that, though. She frowns at me when I call her a tough cookie and when my aunt called her a tough broad she raised one eyebrow.) I'm so glad I can be there to hold her hand while she walks this rough path.
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